Christine@Sweet-Lil-Devilish

Yes, I’m shifting to bloggers @ HERE no more blogging here di. Please do feel free go there and drop by ya. Bye bye friendster blog……

It has been exactly one week since I last saw you in RUUMS but I know everything now has end. I can proudly say it now "IT HAS ENDED". I’m still fine here and hope you’re fine there too. Take care…..

Don’t know why, I just so wanted to write an entry but don’t really know what to write about. Just to have that satisfaction after upload a new entry. So here I am, writing an entry without a purpose.

Been raining for the past few days straight, weather is getting colder and colder when evening falls. Rain actually spoiled my mood, it gives me the feeling of sad, felt like want to isolate myself from the world. Just me, myself and myself only.

Just to not make this entry too emotional, let’s just make a summary of what I had done for the past weekends:

Friday
- Farewell lunch & early 22nd birthday @ One U for Yung Lin(my classmate) who’s leaving to UK soon
- Took my car to the mechanic for checking @ D.Jaya, as I had mention in my previous entry about my car broke down at LDP, the total bill cost RM 1000 ~_~""
- Went yumcha with Sam @ Mc’d Centre Point, consider teatime
- FFKed by Wilson who’s suppose promised to have dinner together
- @ night yumcha with ex-classmates @ Paramount Garden

Saturday
- Lunch, yumcha and movie(The Seeker) with Sam @ The Curve
- Dinner with Wymen @ Kota Damansara
- Club @ Aloha and supper @ some food court in Old Klang Road with Ken & Wymen(we actually wanted to go to RUUMS but then when we reach to the entrance, the crowd actually turned 3 of us down so we change location to Aloha)

Sunday
- Lunch, dinner & hangout with Andrew @ Subang

Monday
- Lunch, yumcha & movie(The Magic Gourd) with Carr Win & Sam @ Burger King Mutiara Damansara

Basically I only mentioned my entertainment side. Hehe….cause don’t think have the needs to talk about what etc stuff I did. That’s the end of it. By the way, I’m having my one week holiday for the raya, need to work on my projects. Work it !!!

You make a smile on my face since the day,
You show me hope,
You show me light,
You show me trust,
You show me care,
You show me love,
You show me faith in us,
You show me that you want us,
But now,
Things changed,
You’ve changed,
Us changed,
But my feelings has not change and what about you ???

I no longer feel you around me anymore,
I no longer know what you want,
I no longer feel your caress,
I no longer feel your concern,
I no longer feel your effort in us,
I no longer know who you are,
And I think is time for me to said goodbye for US.

Thanks for giving me those feeling back again that I once lost it.

"What you pay is what you get". I believe in this starting from today.

I got my hair dyed happily today, looking forward to see the end result of my hair when it’s done. And in the end, I’m satisfied with it. Done my hair do, called that "someone" thought of going for a late lunch with him but he didn’t pick up AGAIN !!! So called Sam instead for a late lunch. On the way to fetch him, some sound coming out from somewhere in my car engine, and the next thing I know, my oil paddle is not working, not even speed up when I step on it instead it slowed down at gear 5. Wow, this sounds a bit exciting. Well, normally movies shows the break not working but mine is oil not working. Hahaha…..imagine that(am laughing myself out while I’m typing this). Something is not right, that time I was at the fly over right in front of the Kelana Jaya LRT, so I pulled over and my speedometer going down. When my car stopped, the engine stopped itself as well, so syiok, feel like the end of the world. Try to restart, but it’s not working.

So I just think of someone who I could actually get some help or at least some comfort at this kinda situation so that I won’t be so nervous. So I just thought of that ‘’someone". After telling him what actually had happen, okey, fine, your mum took your car out, but at least can’t you comfort me instead of calling me "stupid" for not calling you 5 minutes earlier? While I actually did called you 10 minutes earlier just that you didn’t even bother to answer or even call back. I’m stupid but you are even more stupid for not answering my phone calls and not even a comfort word from your side. And I hang up feeling pissed and called Sam instead. But oh then, just because of that phone call, my credits are done, great, just in time, and I was like WHAT THE FXCK !!! Still manage to send one sms and smsed him to call back but no return. So I walk all my way to the LRT station to get reload card, calmly leaving my car well locked. Don’t know why I’m so steady.

Got it, walked back to my car, called Sam and another one of my friend to get help. Waited for 30 minutes, Sam reached, we both still could actually crap at this situation while waiting for my another friend to come together with the mechanic. The friend reached, check out my car, the problem, timing belt broke off, and there might be even injuries to my engine or some other stuff. So, called the tol car service. Friend left cause need to fetch the mechanic back, and he waited me at the mechanic shop while I’m still waiting for the tol car with Sam. And we crap again till the tol car came. Since this is the first time I experienced my car got tol and I’m too excited about it, I even asked Sam to took a few pictures of my car got tol with me in it. Hahaha…..Tol car reached, then off we went to the mechanic shop. Sis already waiting me there and the friend. Had my first meal of the day at 6pm, GREAT !!!

Well, dad called, telling me "everything will be fine, just make sure fix everything ASAP so that I’ve got transport to go for class, no worries".
On Sis side, telling her what happened, the first thing she did was laugh. ~_~"" what a Sis.
Wilson bro did called right after he finished his work to see if everything is okey, to see if I need any help. Thanks for your concern bro.
And that "someone" just an sms. He didn’t even return my call that I asked him to call back. ~_~"" No comment !!!
And thanks Sam for accompanying me the whole late noon. Appreciate it a lot.

And that’s it, what a day I had. Bill on my hair do and another bill on the way from the mechanic. That’s what I mean by "what you pay is what you get". And there goes my money 0__0"""".
That’s the story about my day.

It has been raining the whole day since the early morning till the late afternoon. The rain was not heavy just drizzling all the way for that few hours which it actually made me thought a lot today. Rainy day’s always brought up humans emotional side of them. Don’t know why and don’t really want to know the reason why, cause at least there’ll be a space for myself to think quietly.

First day of class, isn’t it suppose to be an exciting and happy day meeting back all the classmates after a long holiday and ready for the challenge? But why am I so emotional today? Rain drops drop on me while I was walking towards my car after class which it actually made me even more emotional, felt the cold water drops falls on my skin, so cold. Driving all the way home after first day of class alone in the car, raining, all alone, soak and wet.

I questioned myself a lot today. Am I being too sensitive to think that way? Why can’t I just express it all out and tell what I want? Is just a movie after all. Am I thinking too much? Am I scared of getting hurt again that’s why I can’t express my heart out? Am I scared of the history repeating again? Will my past really haunt me for the rest of my life? This is so not me, why am I thinking all the negative side? I know what I want, but it seems like I’m scared, I’m just too scared to tell my heart out.

On another side, I thought, is whatever he said to me is it real or is it not? What does he actually want? I’m just thinking too much of suspicious points. Why am I thinking that way? Haunt from the past, maybe? Scared of feeling the pain again, maybe? Everything starts too fast, real fast and scared that it will ends fast too, might happen? I’m just so negative, this is really so not me. Negative thoughts really running in my head, pulling me back down again turning my feelings from flying to falling, my thoughts from heaven to hell.

Where has all my instinct gone to when it comes to relationships? I really need it back now cause I trust you, instinct.

Oh, please, give me some sign……please…….

This weekend was erm, should I say I actually spend most of my time back at home. Let’s recap:

Friday - 21st September ‘07
Went back to my previous company to collect my cheque payment and had lunch with my ex-colleagues. After lunch, took my car to car wash, was all dirty and dusty and I guess some fools vomited a little bit on my car. ASSHOLE !!! DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRINK DON’T DRINK LA…..!!! DIRTY PEOPLE’S CAR DON’T WIPE SOME MORE, ISH !!! Then return dvd’s at the TVB shops and headed back home continue my taiwanese lovey dovey series. Evening, cooked for dinner cause no one dated me for dinner. Haha….drama. Finished cooking but by the end of the day, sis said don’t want to eat, wasted my effort. Later at night chilling with my bottle of red wine Merlott 2001 all alone. Present from my buddies on my 21st birthday. So good to chill with it the whole night. Got sleepy and tipsy and off to bed happily.

Saturday - 22nd September ‘07
Had lunch with Bro Wil. Reach home around 6 something. Sis had dinner so ate by myself. Waited sis friend to come and waited for 1 and 1/2 hour which is suppose to be only 30 minutes. Made me till I can’t have my shower or buy take away dinner. Ended, my whole body temperature dropped and shaking so suddenly and force to had my tuna sandwich at home which I’m supposed thought of having Mc’d’s. But anyway, then her friends reached, did their doodoos and off they left. So I showered and continued my dvd’s until 3 something in the morning.

Sunday - 23rd September ‘07
Thought of calling Wymen for lunch but he was busy so ended went for karaoke session with Bro Wil at The Curve. And those silly pics with the ‘cekik’ is created by both ourselves, cameraman(Wil), both posers(me & Wil himself). There’s agenda behind the pic as in we both thought of acting cute but we failed cause we don’t know how to so we come out the idea of that ‘violent’ act instead. After karaoke session take away my Mc’d at last and reached home had my Mc’d as breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeap, Mc’d was my first and last meal of the day. My routine coming back again, one day per meal. I really gained weight since I’ve been working in the holidays. One day at least 2 meals, lunch and dinner that’s a must. But now not anymore, I want to go on a healthy diet. Hehe….and stayed home the whole night till now updating my blog.

Hmmm, that’s all about my weekends, kinda enjoyed my time being alone. Hehe……a space of my own. What about your weekend ???

UPDATES !!! UPDATES !!! UPDATES !!! UPDATES !!! UPDATES !!!

Has been almost 3 months I’ve been working in BC and only one word that I could describe about it, satisfaction. I had great experience and great time with all my seniors. What BC stands for? Here’s a little info that I’ll tell to let you know what is it about, BC stands for BrandCare Sdn. Bhd. just because is more easier to be called, BC. The company is actually a design house specialized on packaging and POSM on FMCG product. The client that they are handling, no, is a P&C thing cannot be mention. If you want to know more just go and visit the website www.brandcare.com.my.

Well, basically, I’m the youngest in the company, but they don’t treat me as my age which that’s a good thing cause I don’t like to be treated that way. Anyway, I’ve learned a lot from all my seniors Alan(The Senior-est Designer) most of all cause I’m under his team, Tsi Wei(Senior-est No.2, specialized on typo and production), then goes to my 3 senior sister Lei Ping, Lee Yan, Hui Nee, and the last one William(Senior brother). Thanks to all for teaching me so much.

Things that always happen at BC is, the creative team will have a presentation every Tuesday to improve our presentation skill according to Shawn(Design Director). Then the second funny thing is, we need to pay money for our pantry, funny right ??? Third, don’t think so there’s third, cause is not to be mentioned. Hehe…..

Yeap, only less then three months and as you can see from my profile we’ve already taken so many pics and had a lot of fun together. And I’m sure there’s still more to come. That’s it for now about BC.

Just want a break for me to say, ‘ONE MORE WEEK TO GO, FOR ME STEP INTO MY YEAR 3(FINAL YEAR)!!!’. Time is getting shorter and nearer, DUH……have to work myself out in this year, gotta work hard !!! Can feel my passion already !!!Same goes to all my classmates, see y’all soon…..!!!

UNTITLED…the reason why I put untitled as my title for this entry is because I don’t know how should I describe my mood now. Because on one side, I’m still burning myself to the max with disappointments and lies AGAIN and on the other side I just felt so cheated and confused. I just don’t know how am I gonna take this. I guess I really need time to cool down myself for a while and think about it over again.

Are " PROMISES REALLY MEANT TO BE BROKEN " ? I came to your place on thinking giving you surprise and cares as a sister and I left your place with tears, anger and disappointment in return. I’m so speechless. I left your place cause I couldn’t stand the anger and disappointment that is right in between my breathing cause I know that I would burst into tears in front of you at anytime and I manage to hold my tears and release it once I step out from your place and all the way while I was walking to my car. And then again when I reach Jamie’s place, tears filled my eyes again while I was trying myself so hard to tell him what had happen.

But then again, ‘ SORRY ‘ is not what I wanted to hear this time because you know it at the very beginning. You should have know how to arrange it properly. If you would have told me about your plans earlier I wouldn’t have been so disappointed and I would accept it. Because at least I won’t be as disappointed as now because it is all well planned. And while I had everything well planned then only you tell me right in front of my face.

But anyway, I just needed sometime to cool down myself. Is just that I really couldn’t forgive you for this time. But don’t worry, I’m not a person who uses my anger to deal with situation. I will still remain this friendship at the same level.

I don’t know how to start this blog entry because at the beginning of this incident I know that I’m wrong at the first place but I’d already made my apologies to you but it seems that you did not want to accept my apologies cause you seems like ignoring my messages. What else can I do to mend this friendship? I’ve shown my effort in trying to mend it but it seemed that you don’t want to mend this friendship. I don’t know if I did not show much effort enough or not but at least please tell me do you really want this to end just like this? Because I know I don’t want our friendship to end just like this. Is a 4 years of friendship, 4 years, is not short nor long for this period and I don’t want it end just because of that small incident. To me is a small incident but I don’t know to you is how? That is why I want to know and talk to you. If you really want to end it just like this, I’ve got nothing much more to say. I just want you to flash back in this 4 years things that you’ve done for me and things that I’ve done for you. But I can tell you that I’d never neglected you as part of the footsteps in my diary. I really hope that you’ll think twice before you made this decision. Lastly just want you to know that no matter how your decisions are, I’ll still always be there for you as your friend because it hurts me from a friendship turning into a sorrow and hatred and I don’t want that to be carried through my whole life.