Christine@Sweet-Lil-Devilish

At last…….tonight I’ll be having a good night sleep. I’ve been sleeping real late for this past few nights, think I only sleep for 3 to 4 hours per night since last friday cause I was real busy with my assignments that have been queueing up in my list. And last night, I slept at 6 and woke up at 8.30 for class. Yawn……..but, I’m happy, cause the day that has been worrying me has past and is a beautiful sunny day today although I’m so darn sleepy now. I’ll be on my bed in a few moments time and I’ll be dreaming all my way. How I wish I have a nice massage now……..good night people…….zzzzzZZZZZzzzz…….

Truth…or Blur? In things, does knowing the truth solve all the problems in our daily routine? Some people will choose to know the truth and some rather choose blur, but as a result, in the end, no matter which decision you made, you’ll still get hurt for the rest of your lifes. But for me, I’ll choose TRUTH, cause I don’t want to be blur in things, I want to know where the next road will lead me to and I don’t want to stop in the middle of the road being BLUR on where the next road may lead me to. Sometimes knowing the truth isn’t a good thing, it may come out something that you least expected it to be. I would rather face the truth then avoiding it cause someday, somehow, sooner or later you’ll still need to face it, is just the matter of time when you know it. Yes, it hurts, it hurts A LOT…. for knowing the truth but life still must go on and I’m willing to take the chances and to face the circumstances and to sacrifice no matter what will happen in future cause I know what I want it to be part of my life……

Backstreet Boys - Just Want You To Know

Looking at your picture
From when we first met
You gave me a smile that
I could never forget
And nothing I could do
Could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger
Always on my mind
The days would blend
‘Cause we stayed up all night
Yeah you and I were everything, everything to me

Chorus:
I just want you to know
That I’ve been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there’s nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there’s a day you’ll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing
I’m trying to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it’s me instead
My dreams are empty from the day
The day you slipped away

(Repeat chorus)

That since I lost you I lost myself
But I can’t fake it there’s no one else

(Repeat chorus 2x)

Well, how should i start it? It all just happen yesterday when I really felt the difference once I reach home and sit down and think all over what I’ve gone through yesterday. I do felt the difference comparing last time. I’ve never felt this way long time ago. I still remember the last time I felt this way was almost one and a half year to two years ago. I can feel that this feeling is coming back to me now. I’ve always wanted to get back this feeling and now that I’m really glad that is happening. The feeling that I’m waiting for so long has come. The feeling of LETTING GO…….I can really never forget about this feeling. The feeling is exactly the same like letting yourself free, free from everything that you can felt yourself is laying in the middle of a wide field and just looking up the sky and listening to the birds chirping OR dancing in the rain. Could you imagine that feeling? I hope you guys can felt that too……..just…….use your imagination!!!

I’ve gone through a rough day today. First, was my com lagging like hell while I’m trying my best to solve it myself before I seek help from my friend. Second, I can’t open up my Illustrator CS program cause I need to do my assignment. Third, all my english MP3’s in the total of 832 songs GONE without a word, while all my chinese MP3’s are still where they are. My MP3’s was the love of my life and the feeling that I felt when they left without a word is exactly like the feeling I just broke up with my boyfriend. Its really SUCKS!!!! Lastly, was about my beloved nephew, FLUFFY (a dog-shih tzu). When I came back from ‘pasar malam’ to buy dinner, he just gave me a big ’so called present’ right on my bed with his BIG and SMALL thing. I was so ‘damn’ piss off and that I was speechless to scold or whack him cause I’m way too tired of what had happen to me the whole day. While I just shout at him warning him not to come near me in less then 2 feet if not I’ll whack him and he never did. Guess he know he’s wrong.

So, in order for me to loose the anger that I’ve been keeping the whole day, I release my stomach on my dinner. I just ate whatever that I bought, well, cause I didn’t had my lunch but I really can’t think of a way to loose my anger. But don’t worry, I’ll go for diet tomorrow. I just hope tomorrow will be a better day for me. As for my com, I’ve asked my friend to come and check for me, don’t think that there’ll be anymore problem but I wouldn’t dare to give hope for a better day tomorrow, I just can keep my fingers cross.

I think I’m beginning to felt something different from the way I normally felt. Think I’m beginning to open up my heart and letting go what I’ve been gone through all this while. Instead, it’s a good thing to happen and is a good feeling to be felt and I’m glad that it’s happening cause I really don’t gave a F**K anymore on that. I’m sick and tired of it, for what I’ve done, what I’ve gone through. There is a limitation for everybody on all things. Maybe is because my limit has come, so is time for me to loose the grip……

I’ve done a lot of thinking this past few days, which had made me have sleepless nights but in the end I do have made a decision. I’ve decided to do something, but now I’ve changed my mind cause I felt is no use for me to make things so pushy, it won’t make any difference ANYMORE……. Guess I’ll just do what I have in mind now……..hope everything goes the way I want it to be………..

Something just strike my mind today that made me to start a blog and here it all begins………

Sigh…..sometimes things is not as easy as you see, it can be as complicated as it can be but is just that we don’t realize it cause we only see the outside and not the whole package. Is good to see something as simple as it is just to protect ourselves from being hurt by knowing the truth. Knowing the truth isn’t as bad as it is, is just something that couldn’t be accepted and being hurt. If I was given a chance to choose again, I would choose to start all over again.