Archive for October, 2007

Raya weekend….

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Don’t know why, I just so wanted to write an entry but don’t really know what to write about. Just to have that satisfaction after upload a new entry. So here I am, writing an entry without a purpose.

Been raining for the past few days straight, weather is getting colder and colder when evening falls. Rain actually spoiled my mood, it gives me the feeling of sad, felt like want to isolate myself from the world. Just me, myself and myself only.

Just to not make this entry too emotional, let’s just make a summary of what I had done for the past weekends:

Friday
- Farewell lunch & early 22nd birthday @ One U for Yung Lin(my classmate) who’s leaving to UK soon
- Took my car to the mechanic for checking @ D.Jaya, as I had mention in my previous entry about my car broke down at LDP, the total bill cost RM 1000 ~_~""
- Went yumcha with Sam @ Mc’d Centre Point, consider teatime
- FFKed by Wilson who’s suppose promised to have dinner together
- @ night yumcha with ex-classmates @ Paramount Garden

Saturday
- Lunch, yumcha and movie(The Seeker) with Sam @ The Curve
- Dinner with Wymen @ Kota Damansara
- Club @ Aloha and supper @ some food court in Old Klang Road with Ken & Wymen(we actually wanted to go to RUUMS but then when we reach to the entrance, the crowd actually turned 3 of us down so we change location to Aloha)

Sunday
- Lunch, dinner & hangout with Andrew @ Subang

Monday
- Lunch, yumcha & movie(The Magic Gourd) with Carr Win & Sam @ Burger King Mutiara Damansara

Basically I only mentioned my entertainment side. Hehe….cause don’t think have the needs to talk about what etc stuff I did. That’s the end of it. By the way, I’m having my one week holiday for the raya, need to work on my projects. Work it !!!

Goodbye……

Saturday, October 6th, 2007

You make a smile on my face since the day,
You show me hope,
You show me light,
You show me trust,
You show me care,
You show me love,
You show me faith in us,
You show me that you want us,
But now,
Things changed,
You’ve changed,
Us changed,
But my feelings has not change and what about you ???

I no longer feel you around me anymore,
I no longer know what you want,
I no longer feel your caress,
I no longer feel your concern,
I no longer feel your effort in us,
I no longer know who you are,
And I think is time for me to said goodbye for US.

Thanks for giving me those feeling back again that I once lost it.

I’m “STUPID”

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

"What you pay is what you get". I believe in this starting from today.

I got my hair dyed happily today, looking forward to see the end result of my hair when it’s done. And in the end, I’m satisfied with it. Done my hair do, called that "someone" thought of going for a late lunch with him but he didn’t pick up AGAIN !!! So called Sam instead for a late lunch. On the way to fetch him, some sound coming out from somewhere in my car engine, and the next thing I know, my oil paddle is not working, not even speed up when I step on it instead it slowed down at gear 5. Wow, this sounds a bit exciting. Well, normally movies shows the break not working but mine is oil not working. Hahaha…..imagine that(am laughing myself out while I’m typing this). Something is not right, that time I was at the fly over right in front of the Kelana Jaya LRT, so I pulled over and my speedometer going down. When my car stopped, the engine stopped itself as well, so syiok, feel like the end of the world. Try to restart, but it’s not working.

So I just think of someone who I could actually get some help or at least some comfort at this kinda situation so that I won’t be so nervous. So I just thought of that ‘’someone". After telling him what actually had happen, okey, fine, your mum took your car out, but at least can’t you comfort me instead of calling me "stupid" for not calling you 5 minutes earlier? While I actually did called you 10 minutes earlier just that you didn’t even bother to answer or even call back. I’m stupid but you are even more stupid for not answering my phone calls and not even a comfort word from your side. And I hang up feeling pissed and called Sam instead. But oh then, just because of that phone call, my credits are done, great, just in time, and I was like WHAT THE FXCK !!! Still manage to send one sms and smsed him to call back but no return. So I walk all my way to the LRT station to get reload card, calmly leaving my car well locked. Don’t know why I’m so steady.

Got it, walked back to my car, called Sam and another one of my friend to get help. Waited for 30 minutes, Sam reached, we both still could actually crap at this situation while waiting for my another friend to come together with the mechanic. The friend reached, check out my car, the problem, timing belt broke off, and there might be even injuries to my engine or some other stuff. So, called the tol car service. Friend left cause need to fetch the mechanic back, and he waited me at the mechanic shop while I’m still waiting for the tol car with Sam. And we crap again till the tol car came. Since this is the first time I experienced my car got tol and I’m too excited about it, I even asked Sam to took a few pictures of my car got tol with me in it. Hahaha…..Tol car reached, then off we went to the mechanic shop. Sis already waiting me there and the friend. Had my first meal of the day at 6pm, GREAT !!!

Well, dad called, telling me "everything will be fine, just make sure fix everything ASAP so that I’ve got transport to go for class, no worries".
On Sis side, telling her what happened, the first thing she did was laugh. ~_~"" what a Sis.
Wilson bro did called right after he finished his work to see if everything is okey, to see if I need any help. Thanks for your concern bro.
And that "someone" just an sms. He didn’t even return my call that I asked him to call back. ~_~"" No comment !!!
And thanks Sam for accompanying me the whole late noon. Appreciate it a lot.

And that’s it, what a day I had. Bill on my hair do and another bill on the way from the mechanic. That’s what I mean by "what you pay is what you get". And there goes my money 0__0"""".
That’s the story about my day.

Blue day

Monday, October 1st, 2007

It has been raining the whole day since the early morning till the late afternoon. The rain was not heavy just drizzling all the way for that few hours which it actually made me thought a lot today. Rainy day’s always brought up humans emotional side of them. Don’t know why and don’t really want to know the reason why, cause at least there’ll be a space for myself to think quietly.

First day of class, isn’t it suppose to be an exciting and happy day meeting back all the classmates after a long holiday and ready for the challenge? But why am I so emotional today? Rain drops drop on me while I was walking towards my car after class which it actually made me even more emotional, felt the cold water drops falls on my skin, so cold. Driving all the way home after first day of class alone in the car, raining, all alone, soak and wet.

I questioned myself a lot today. Am I being too sensitive to think that way? Why can’t I just express it all out and tell what I want? Is just a movie after all. Am I thinking too much? Am I scared of getting hurt again that’s why I can’t express my heart out? Am I scared of the history repeating again? Will my past really haunt me for the rest of my life? This is so not me, why am I thinking all the negative side? I know what I want, but it seems like I’m scared, I’m just too scared to tell my heart out.

On another side, I thought, is whatever he said to me is it real or is it not? What does he actually want? I’m just thinking too much of suspicious points. Why am I thinking that way? Haunt from the past, maybe? Scared of feeling the pain again, maybe? Everything starts too fast, real fast and scared that it will ends fast too, might happen? I’m just so negative, this is really so not me. Negative thoughts really running in my head, pulling me back down again turning my feelings from flying to falling, my thoughts from heaven to hell.

Where has all my instinct gone to when it comes to relationships? I really need it back now cause I trust you, instinct.

Oh, please, give me some sign……please…….